Home Sweet Heart Attack

I used to think that I was at least a little hardcore.  I liked to think that I grew up in a rural enough area to not be completely pathetic. 

I now know that I was living in a fantasy world. Being here makes me realize that I am a wimpy town girl.  In my mind, I was Laura Ingalls Wilder.  In reality, I’m Nellie Oleson (but less evil, I hope). 

I have many Indonesian friends to thank for introducing me to my true self.  So…I offer my recognition in order of appearance:

To the cicak – little lizards that hang out in our house:  I know you’re harmless—perhaps even good luck—but you are so darn fast and pale and sticky-fingered that you catch me off-guard every day.  I’m still sorry I accidently shut one of your brothers in the front door.  It was traumatic for all of us.

To the bat – I was just enjoying a nice evening run around my neighborhood when you hit me in the face.  This is the repayment I get for trying to stay in shape?  In the words of Gob Bluth, “COME ON!!!”

To the rats – I’ll give you credit, good sirs--you are impressive. How on earth you managed to chew through the thick wire mesh over the hole in our kitchen will forever be a mystery to me.  I’d appreciate if you would give up on trying to enter our kitchen—while Nichole and I are welcoming folk, we’re not fond of your presence.

Well played, rat...well played.

To the cockroaches - not only are you large-and-in-charge, but you can fly.  Enjoy the apocalypse...I'm convinced that you are indestructible.

To the snakes – You are sly, spry little creatures who play dead impressively well.  It's like you had acting lessons or something.

Although I’ve admittedly struggled at times over these past few months as I turn down the critters who want to cozy up with me, I refuse to completely brand myself as "too pathetic to live in a tropical nation" just yet.  The beauty of my time here is that I can reinvent who I am.  I can grow into a strong, independent woman who can fearlessly slaughter cockroaches, trap and dispose of rats, and remove snakes from our kitchen without hyperventilating.  Do I really like the idea of myself as the alternative—a weak, helpless girl who cannot confront the pests in her life with grace and confidence?

Maybe.  Rats are scary, people.